I really appreciate all your comments, so thank you very much for taking the time to write them.
I've decided I need space and time to think, so I'm running away back home and taking C with me. We leave tomorrow (!)
I still haven't packed, and I dread to think of the 11.5 hour flight ahead of me with a very inquisitive and restless 10 month old, but right now it seems the least of my problems.
I don't know how I'm going to make a decision. I really don't.
Part of me thinks if I wanted to give up I'd already be gone, but then I remember my plan of not making any hasty decisions, for C's sake.
I know time is supposed to heal everything, but to be honest, as time goes on the worse I feel. I think this is because whatever ounce of denial I had is fast disappearing, like being yanked out of a dream world and into reality. And also, the more I think about it, the more the enormity of the situation sinks in. It is a very, very scary place to be. Never in a million years did I think I would ever be in this situation. If you knew my husband and our relationship, neither would you.
And because you all shared your 'bottom line', it's only fair I share mine.
Cheating.
I always said I would leave immediately. No second thought. If this has taught me anything, it's never to set a bottom line. Because nothing is black and white, no, just a huge overwhelming spectrum of grey.
Sabine
xx
P.S. Theluckylife, I can't see your email address...please send xx
I've decided I need space and time to think, so I'm running away back home and taking C with me. We leave tomorrow (!)
I still haven't packed, and I dread to think of the 11.5 hour flight ahead of me with a very inquisitive and restless 10 month old, but right now it seems the least of my problems.
I don't know how I'm going to make a decision. I really don't.
Part of me thinks if I wanted to give up I'd already be gone, but then I remember my plan of not making any hasty decisions, for C's sake.
I know time is supposed to heal everything, but to be honest, as time goes on the worse I feel. I think this is because whatever ounce of denial I had is fast disappearing, like being yanked out of a dream world and into reality. And also, the more I think about it, the more the enormity of the situation sinks in. It is a very, very scary place to be. Never in a million years did I think I would ever be in this situation. If you knew my husband and our relationship, neither would you.
And because you all shared your 'bottom line', it's only fair I share mine.
Cheating.
I always said I would leave immediately. No second thought. If this has taught me anything, it's never to set a bottom line. Because nothing is black and white, no, just a huge overwhelming spectrum of grey.
Sabine
xx
P.S. Theluckylife, I can't see your email address...please send xx
I'm so sorry Sabine. I have had very vivid nightmares about my husband cheating on me, nightmares so vivid that I wake up physically ill, so I can't imagine it being a reality.
ReplyDeleteI will be thinking about you.
theluckylife(at)bouwman(dot)co(dot)za
ReplyDeleteI think the break will do you good and help to clear your head. I'm in CT and I'm around if you want to go for a coffee. Good luck!
Oh sweetheart I am so sorry you are going through this!
ReplyDeleteO, Sabine, I am so shocked to be reading this. I am so sorry you are in such a situation... I hope a break and being surrounded by family will help you during this difficult time.
ReplyDelete