Birth Story - Part 2

04:32: They finally do an internal - I am only 3cm dilated. I want to die right then and there. I know I can't do this. I beg. Please, please, I need the epidural. I will do anything.  I have been begging for hours. They agree. I suspect to get me to shut up.

05:05: Epidural given after an eternity of reciting the possible risks and complications. If I wasn't already married, I would marry the epidural guy. He somehow manages to insert the epidural even though there is no break between my contractions. I need to keep very still and somehow, I do. The strength that took was the final straw. I was completely exhausted. Physically and emotionally.

It takes about 25-30 minutes for the epidural to kick in. And it's heaven. In that moment, the best thing that had ever happened to me. 

I could feel no more contractions, just the exhaustion from the vomiting, the searing pain in my bloodied hand, the 'bad trip' from the Pethidine that had still not worn off. It made my eyes roll to the back of my head. By this stage I had not slept in at least 24 hours already.

Despite being warned that the epidural would cause the labour to slow, I went from 3cm to 10cm dilated in just a few hours. I wait for the midwives to be less busy on the ward so that I can start to push. I am ready.

By around 12pm I was told to start pushing. At this point I'm told that they will allow me to push for no more than 1 hour and also that the baby's heart rate is dipping with each contraction. I start to feel the contractions and they agree to top up the epidural so long as I can push effectively with it. I can. I push far beyond each contraction, far beyond emptying my lungs. I push and push and push. My husband thinks I am going to pass out with each one. He says the blood drains completely from my face. I am unable to hold my leg up with the right hand because of the pain from the drip, so he holds it for me. He also asks for my mother to stay in the delivery room with us. He needs the support, I can see the fear and exhaustion in his eyes.

Midwives come in and go out. They introduce themselves. They ask for a student to be present. I don't care. I want the baby out. I don't recognise who is in the room. Just as I start to trust one, she leaves and sends in another. I should add that you are supposed to have one midwife help you throughout your labour. Two at the most if there's a change of shifts during your labour. I pushed for over 2.5 hours. In that time I had no less than 4 midwives, a student and a doctor.

I firmly believe that had I had continuity of care, they would never have let me push aimlessly for so long. Remember, they told me I would not be allowed to push for more than 1 hour, since I was fully dilated, baby was in the right position and I was pushing effectively.

The baby's heart rate was still dipping with each contraction and I could start to feel the contractions too, but they seemed unconcerned. And so I pushed and pushed and pushed. Keep going, they said, baby will be here soon. But she wasn't. At this point I had no idea how long I'd been pushing for. It could have been 5 minutes, it could have been an eternity. With every contraction the head was coming down, and then going back up as soon as it stopped. My mom told me later she knew something wasn't right and was silently begging them to bring a doctor.

Eventually, whichever midwife was there at that point admitted defeat and called a doctor. The doctor came in and examined me. There's no way baby is coming by herself - the cord is wrapped around her neck. Her hands are up by her face. They tell me they have to cut me and use the suction to get her out. I don't want them to. I'm terrified. By this stage I am so swollen down there from all the pushing, she says if she doesn't cut me, I will tear very badly. The epidural is wearing off, I beg for a top-up but it's too late. She cuts me, inserts the ventouse and I feel immense pressure.

I can feel the head passing through, the shoulders, the body. I hear an immediate cry and she is placed, bloody and swollen headed onto my chest. My DH and I howl with tears of happiness. I have never ever seen that man cry like that and I loved him in that moment more than ever, my husband, my partner, the father of my child.

At 14.28 and weighing 2.702kg, our daughter came out into the world with her eyes wide open and she stared at me like she was looking right into my soul.

Apgar at 1 minute was 9.

Apgar at 5 minutes was 10.

Perfect.

I held her while they stitched me up and I could feel everything. But nothing mattered. Only her. I drank her in. Nobody can describe the way they feel in that moment their child is born, and I'm no exception. It was beyond every expectation and the best moment of my life. My child! Healthy and perfect. A true miracle. She looked nothing like I imagined, and yet I couldn't imagine her any other way.

I lost half a litre of blood and they left us alone in that labour room for about 5 hours - nobody bothered to clean it. I also notice somebody else's open pot of urine left in the bathroom - there since before my labour started. I knew the hygiene level was not up to scratch then, and the infections I left with prove it.

Birth Story - Part 3 (The aftermath) to follow...


~Sabine~

Birth Story - Part 1

It all started with a phone call to the Labour ward at 8am on Tuesday 4th January 2010. They confirmed they had a bed for me and I should come in for induction at 8.30/9am.
DH went off to work as we expected the induction to take a long time and didn’t want to waste a day’s holiday off work. Myself, my mom and sister caught a cab to the hospital. We got there around 8.45am and waited around for an hour or so before they showed me to a bed.

They strapped me to a monitor which, surprise surprise showed that I was already having quite regular contractions – about 2-3 in 10 minutes. I could feel them, but they were not painful, just uncomfortable.

At about 11am, the midwife expressed concern that the place she was picking up the hearbeat on the monitor was too high, and wanted to request a scan to make sure baby was in the right position. It was later confirmed all was well, but without a scan.

In the meantime, DH came to meet me at the hospital for lunch (I ate hospital food and he brought a sandwich) and it was great to see him.
Since the labour ward was busy, they didn’t want to insert the pessary for induction until about 3pm. In that time, I read, chatted with my mom and sister and was mostly strapped to the monitor so couldn’t move too much.

The insertion of the pessary itself was quite painful, but once it was in, it was awful. Almost like when you insert a tampon incorrectly and it hurts! A couple of hours after the pessary was inserted, I started to contract for real, but very irregularly.

At about 6.15pm, my sister put the TENS machine on me. I found it didn't help at all and just annoyed me because I couldn't move without the pads becoming unstuck. Needless to say, the TENS machine didn't last more than a few hours. My husband came over straight after he finished work and had a bite to eat - around 7pm.

The rest is pretty much a blur, so I will write down as much as I can remember. Apologies if it's a bit of a  mish-mash of useless info.

21.55: Contractions 2-3 mins apart. Vomiting begins. I literally could not keep anything down. Including water. I vomited all over myself, husband, midwife, machinery. It was a little like the exorcist, only less entertaining. The midwife becomes annoyed with me, even refusing to change the bedsheets. DH to the rescue - finds new linen, changes the bed and me.

22.44: Hyper-contracting begins. Apparently a common side effect of the pessary. I beg for them to remove it. They are reluctant - they're afraid it will slow the labour, and g-d forbid I should take up a bed in the ward longer than strictly necessary. They give me Co-dydromal for pain. Of course, since I can't keep anything down, it's out before it's in.

23.15: Anti nausea injection given at request insistence of my husband. By this point I am vomiting every few minutes. I still haven't been moved to a labour room and I apologise to the 3 other women in my ward for the scene I'm causing. They tell me not to worry, and offer me water.

00.17: I beg the midwife to check how dilated I am - 2cm, and the internal examination hurts. (There was a LOT of begging that night).

Since I'm only 2cm dilated, they deny me the epidural despite my complete agony. I was literally hounding like a wounded animal at this point. There was no space between contractions. They bring me the Gas and Air. The unit is broken and I suck on the mouthpiece in vain.

02.10: My begging for them to remove the pessary is finally agreed. Hyper-contractions do not slow. They are intensifying. 

I'm given a Pethidine injection and another anti nausea injection. I'm still vomiting. The pethidine makes me very high. I can feel everything, only now I don't have the capacity to express myself. I'm essentially gagged. My sister later says it seemed like I was high - on a very, very bad trip.

03.07: Eventually I'm moved to labour ward. At my husband's insistence I am put on IV drip for fluids because I'm still vomiting and now severely dehydrated. The gas and air unit is replaced and it makes my mouth so dry. I suck the G&A, sip water, vomit. This goes on and on. I want ice, but there is none.
The drip is inserted incorrectly, blood everywhere, on me, in the tubes. I scream out in pain. This I remember as being more painful than the administering of the epidural and 6 weeks later, I still have the scar on my hand to remind me.
My DH and I are left in the room, we're told they won't check how dilated I am for at least another 4 hours and they won't give me an epidural until I'm 4cm dilated. I beg for it. Please, please, I need the epidural. I beg anyone who will listen. I can barely breathe between the one long contraction, the G&A, the vomiting, but I beg and I beg and I beg. The pain is beyond words. I don't believe I will get through this.
I remember thinking, why did nobody tell me how bad this is? How painful contractions are. And then I realised - because my friends had told me - but there are just no words to describe the pain.

04:10: My water breaks with a huge warm gush. It keeps coming and coming. It seems like a never-ending amount. I thank G-d. I know now they will have to check how dilated I am...

Part 2 tomorrow...

* I am able to record some of the times thanks to the messages sent from my husband to my sister to keep her updated throughout the labour.


~Sabine~