On trying to be brave

As you may have realised, I've been a tad, umm, anxious about this first trimester.
As soon as I left the hospital yesterday, I arranged a scan at 10w2d weeks at the private clinic.
But they could only do during the day, so I started to stress about taking more time off work with no explanation. So I called another clinic who could see me at 7pm after work but they could only do it at 10w3d - which is only 6 days for my official nuchal scan.

And then something dawned on me.

All this running around to scans is actually making me anxious.
So I decided to be brave. I called both clinics and cancelled the appointments (!).

I mean, I know little Joopy is doing well. I have seen his/her* little heart beating with my own eyes.
I've decided to have a little bit of faith. And remain calm and hopeful. I mean, I just think about what's to come, and I don't want to freak out at every stage of this pregnancy, so I'm trying to make a conscience effort to change my ways now. I want to enjoy this pregnancy as much as I can.

I realise it's all in G-d's plan - everything is beyond my control. If something is G-d forbid wrong, then a scan will not change the outcome. Another scan changes nothing except for peace of mind. And I've noticed that my 'peace of mind' after a scan lasts only a day or 2 before I start wondering again.

So, let the countdown begin - 20 more days till we get to see you again my baby.  Please keep growing big and strong.

~Sabine~

* I say his/her but I'm already thinking girl in my head. I have no idea why! Originally I was convinced a boy, but now I'm not so sure. Well, we have a lot longer to wonder because I don't think we will find out the sex beforehand!