Living with Endometriosis

I don't want to bore everyone with the details about this condition, but if you want more info, click here.

When I was about 23, I noticed some unusual changes in my monthly cycle.
A lot of my friends told me not to worry, periods change as you get older.
So I thought nothing more about it.

On a routine visit to my gynae, and right at the very end of all the check-ups and scans, I happened to mention some of these changes.
I had no idea that I had listed about 4 out of the 5 symptoms of endemetriosis.
But my gynae (who is the most brilliant doctor) recognised them immediately.

I will never forget what he asked next:
"Have you heard of endemetriosis?"

I had no clue.
I had never even heard the word.

The very next morning I was in the theatre undergoing my first laparoscopy. What he found was stage 2 endo, affecting the ovaries, uterus, bowel and pouch of douglas. Thankfully, my tubes were unaffected.

I have had 2 surgeries since then, and am scheduled for another on the 29th December of this year.
I have always been so so thankful above all things. Thankful that my doctor was great enough to recognise my symptoms. Thankful that he acted so quickly. Thankful that I was young when I found out about this condition so that it could be managed. Well, as well as endo can be managed.
I am painfully aware that many, many women only discover they have this condition once they start to try for a baby, and by then it may be too late, and the disease too advanced.

From that first surgery, my doctor always tried to convince me to start trying for a baby immediately. I was already seeing my husband, but we were young, him younger than me even, and immature, and poor, and living far away from home in a foreign country. And we were not married.
I remember him joking: "you'd be surprised how quickly your parents will organise a beautiful wedding for you if you get pregnant!"

And since then, every year, I know I have had a decision to make, and that I would have to live with that outcome.
Try for a baby immediately, even though I am not ready OR
Wait till I am ready and take the chance that my fertility may have declined by then.

In the end, I think I picked the middle road. I am ready, we are married, and very importantly, my husband is ready too.

Despite this, I am now struggling a little bit with my choice.
Did we wait to long? Did we risk our chances?

I'm afraid I'm about to find out.
And I am terrified.

~Sabine~